A no fill

The fill tonight was a no go. I don't know what happened. She got upset and wouldn't sit still and I couldn't find the port with her moving so much so I decided to put it away. I will try again Thursday. And that will be our last fill!

Another Bad Fill

Again We couldn't actually get her expander to fill. I hope its something I am doing wrong. I want to be the cause of not doing the fills right. What I do not want is there to be a problem with the expander and for us to have to take what we have gotten so far and do another round of expanders. I want to be done! I NEED to be done! I am tired! Haleigh is tired! I dont want to deal with this any more, I want her to be able to go to moms day out and make friends, I want her to be able to go to school next fall without having to miss school for surgeries. I should have started earlier, I should have made better choices when she was younger. This all should have been over and done by now!

Last week... this week

Last week's fill went awful, I dont think I got anything in. I counted it as a loss. I am not sure what was going on, but she was in pain and I just stopped and started over, more magic cream, and it still was hurting. she was flinching and moving, something she never does so I just told her great job and that we were done. I couldn't get the placement right or something I am not sure, it just felt off so I just pulled it.

That was last Sunday night

I then had surgery Monday and there was no way I could have done a fill this week, we will however be attempting one tomorrow night, I am feeling much better and I think things will go better, or at least I really hope so. I hate that we had the wasted (or so it felt like it) non-fill last week, but I'm not going to hurt her. The last time it hurt she had an infection and we didnt know it yet. I dont think now that she has one, if she did she would have become red, swollen, and sick over the past week, but the fact that it hurt was enough for me to hold back and just see. It's been fine though.

I wonder sometimes if she is developing a tolerance to the magic cream. I think I will leave it on a little longer this week to see if it helps, we normally leave it on about 20-30 minutes, I think I will try 45 tomorrow night and just see if it will control her pain better.

I will be so happy when we are done with the expander, This should be our only expander. Her nose and lip, will probably have to be done with a graft or excision only.

Here's to a better fill tomorrow!