Of course we are thankful

So this post is not directly related to Haleigh and her nevus, but More about children and family and health concerns.

Having a larger than average family these days gets you a lot, a lot of stairs and questions that is. I have never in my life told anyone how many kids they should or should not have. But I must admit I love big families and I do not understand when people choose to have just one child.

For some reason some people think it is OK to comment on how many kids you have, and not people your close to, because even if they do not agree with you decision they most likely respect it and therefore keep their mouths shut!

     Last Easter
My 5 and their 3 cousins (their cousins are in matching dresses)

I have gotten a lot of comments about my family size over the years, since I have gotten older I don't get the "your too young for all them to be yours" but I still get asked what I am going to do with "all them kids", If we are done, if we wanted them all, and less often I get asked if they are all healthy, because apparently since the dugger family has 19 kids and the last one was born sick, that means every family with more that 3 kids have a very sick child. ( I in no way believe that)!

So what do I say to these people so strangers? It all really depends on how my day is going, sometimes I say nothing, other times I joke and if I have had a rough day I get defensive. On those days my answers are, Yes I am a young mom, but at least I am not as old as you, of course my kids were wanted and very much loved what's your point. What are we going to do with them? Well we needed a maid so we had a girl then we needed yard work done so we had boys too. Are they all mine? Nope picked them up on the corner. How do we do it with 5? The same way you do it with 2 just 3 extra times a day!

The heath question usually comes across as "wow with that many there is no way they are all healthy" when I say yes actually they are all doing great and have a clean bill of health. Then I get "well be thankful for that" um yeah cause I was not already!? I don't understand how people can think since I had more kids that I was not thankful for the ones I already had.

In birth order Madalyn was the picture of a healthy baby we were and are thankful for that, Collin was a bit early and had asthma as a baby, we would not trade that and see thankful for him. Aden was early too and spent some nicu time, he put grew his problems too and we are thankful he did and for him. Landon was lucky we lived in a city with a major nicu that could handle him at 31 weeks, he is now almost 5 and we could not be more thankful he's healthy. Haleigh has had health issues and was early, she also has her nevus, but with all that she is a healthy baby and we are thankful all her health issues are manageable, but even if they were worse we would be thankful just to have her, she is such a light.

None of that changed just because we had other kids. And it would not change if we had a 6th child. That brings us to the "are you done" question. This one really gets people sometimes. I feel as of eight now that our family is completed. I felt complete after Aden was born too, but after Landon I knew someone was missing. I think we have very little to do with our family size. I believe God gives us the children we are suppose to have and even if we are on birth control or get our tubes tied or make our husbands get the big V, I believe we are going to end up with the family God has planned for us, even if that means raising children we didn't give birth to. And I am not sure what he has planned for our future.

I wish I could say that is what I tell others when they ask. Most of the time I say yeah! Or heck no I want 10 more just like these! And the truth is I feel our family is completed and so does Jason, we are thankful for all our children and if God was to think we (for reasons I would not understand lol) needed and could handle another child we would be thankful he had chosen is as parents again, but that would not make us any less thankful for the 5 wonderful, loving, healthy children we already have.

Softball Tournament

New Places, New faces, Same Questions

Haleigh playing with her cousin Natlie

Since the day Haleigh was born I have been asked questions about her nevus. Although at the time I didn't even know what to call it. I also didn't know what to say, or what to expect. I did know that no matter what the spot on her face turned out to be that as her mom I would always protect her and that her family would accept her no matte what it was. Again at the time I didn't know anything about it.

We have gotten lots of looks, stairs, and questions over the last 2 and a half years ( yes that is right 2 years!) some people have been very sweet in asking in a very gental way, others have been rude and some out right mean! What I have learned though is that most people are just like I was the day Haleigh was born. They have never seen a child with a large nevus any where on the body let alone the face. They don't know what it is and they really do just wanna know. And most of the time I don't mind answering a bunch of questions, to a bunch of people, it brings awareness to nevi and because kids like haleigh are so rare that is a big deal.

I feel like I have really gotten comfortable at the girls soft ball park. There are new famalies that have come in, but most everyone knows who we are and who Haleigh is and they know they can ask me questions and they don't stair. Well my boys started playing at Westside Base Ball Park and I feel like I should put up info flyers so people will stop looking at us like we have extra arms or something.

I have been asked by at lest 20 people this week what her condition is, and I have explained it to everyone of the adults, the kids that have ask I just say "she had surgery" tonight I told about 6 kids that, then they wanna know what kind of surgery, why she had it, I didn't let them ask a third question. I told them a face surgery and then to remove her birthmark. I didn't want to know their 3rd question so I asked them to please move so we could walk by (we were in the bathroom) and they did.

These are the same questions we have been dealing with for 2 years and while again I don't mind answering the how is she and when is the next surgery questions, its so mentally hard to go through the last 2 years 20 times in a week. Its even hardrd to sit and know there is that one person that wants to ask but never does so they sit and stair at you for 3 months! I always wonder what that one is thinking.

And again I know these people really do wanna know, or they would not be asking about her, they would just make comments like the man in target last summer who told me I needed to wash my kids face before taking them to target. He was very embarrassed when I told him it was a birth mark and no amount of washing was going to help it (and that maybe he should think before he speaks!) I could have handled that better for sure, oh well.

The point is that I am tired and our journey has just started. I know haleigh is a strong girl, God would not give a nevus to a weak person, these kids are amazing! I just wish she didn't have to be!

A Little Traumatized

I believe Haleigh is a little traumatized from her surgery. I was really hoping she was still young enough to forget about it almost as soon as it was over, we were not so lucky!

I want to say Haleigh is doing very well from a physical stand point.

When we skyped with Dr. C last week he said Haleigh look great, and that since she was leaving the glue alone, we could put triple antibiotic cream on it and that would loosen the glue so it would flake off! We have been wanting the glue to fall off so I was excited. We had not out any thing except sun screen on her face and I did that while she was doing other things too, so she was not paying att to me anyway.

When I first tried to put the cream on Haleigh's face she had a fit! Kicking and screaming and yelling for her daddy, for her may may! Help help she was saying! I felt so so bad, Madalyn held her hand and I quickly put the cream on her. I felt so bad for her, I decided I would wait for her to be asleep before I put any other cream on her.

Then saturday came and I had not choice but to use sunscreen on her. Landon held her hand as she cried. He is just 4 so that made me wanna cry that she wanted her littlest big brother to hold her hand.

She does not want anyone to wash her face or bathe her, she dosent want is to wipe her if she gets dirty, she said she'll do it her self. But ya know she can't always do it good enough and when I have to step in age cries for someone anyone to hold her little hand.

She on the other hand does not want mama to hold her hand. Mama is the one putting on all the creams and doing all the washing and wiping, so she will not hold my hands.

I was a little sad when she would not let daddy put on the sunscreen and hold mama's hands but then I realized she just trust me to handle her face and everyone else is just for hands!

I tried to just look and see how much of the glue was peeling off today and that was as bad as trying the sunscreen so I am just waiting for her to sleep.

I love her so much and I just wish she could have started earlier and was finnished before she learned how to remember anything longer than a day or two!

Please continue to pray for Haleigh and our family during this time. We know that God will use this for our good and His glory.

Behind the Glue

Today is 2 weeks from surgery, and Haleigh is doing awesome. When she first came out of surgery she had stitches with glue on them and tape over the glue! We wanted to be sure it didn't come open, it held really good and when we took he to have her stitches out she still had most of the take on, I only saw a small bit of her stiches. When they we're removed more glue was applied, but no tape! So I could see her but it still was covered a lot. Today a week after stiches removal some of the glue has chipped off and under the glue is a very thin line. I know its a scar, but you can't really see it. I was actually expecting it to look more red and I guess more like my c section scar did 2 weeks after, that is the only surgery scar anyone has for me to compare to.

The line is perfectly straight, and very thin. I can not wait until all the glue has chipped off, its starting too and kinds looks like icing off a cup cake left on her face. As soon as the glue is off we are going to have family pictures made. Everyone already has their clothes so we are all set. Its been a while since we had a good family picture made. And Haleigh is not in it! I can't wait to show them off!

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Haleigh, at a birthday party,
almost a week after stitches being removed!

I did a real poor job of preparing my older children for the way Haleigh would look when we came home from surgery, I really didn't know how she would look myself, but I should have called ahead and talked with them. Haleigh was swollen and bruised when we got home. Her eye was purple and her face had tape over her stitches, the tape also had some blood under it so it looked bad. I think everyone that reads this knows Haleigh is the youngest of 5, so seeing her this way was hard for the other 4.

Madalyn, Age 12

My oldest is 12 and she cried and wanted to know if she would be swollen for a long time, and why her eye was puffed and purple. She also didn't understand the tape at first and thought the whole area was scaring, my 4 year old was just asking who hurt Haleigh and I told him no one the Dr did surgery to help Haleigh and she was going to get better, all he heard was that the Dr did it and we then had to explain exactly what the Dr did to calm him. The two older boys were at school when we got home. When they came in my 10year old said look Haleigh has a black eye like I had. He got him at baseball practice, so my 7 year old them said, who hit Haleigh with a ball, I am going to bust them! Lol so I say them down and explained exactly what went on during surgery and why she had a black eye and why her face was swollen and had tape on it.

I so wish I would have called and told my mom to put me on speaker phone, to explain what was going on to them. I believe they were scared for Haleigh and thought someone hurt her. We have decided that because they have asked so many questions we are going to take them with us next time, and stay the whole week between surgery and stitch removal. They want to meet the Dr and see where Haleigh goes. We will treat this like vacation, Haleigh felt great the day after surgery so our plans are to get a city of Atlanta pass, and starting the day after surgery, explore Atlanta with the kids. Friday or Saturday we will take them to 6 flags over Ga that will be 3 days after surgery and Haleigh was her self for the most part by then. I think this will be good for more than one reason, it will be good for the older kids to see where we are when Haleigh has surgery, so when we go and the don't go they will know where we are, 2 the older kids need a vacation and this might be our only chance to go, 3 Haleigh needs to have

Fun when we go to Atlanta not just surgery or she is going to start to fear going, and while she will never think surgery is fun, she will know that once that part is over age get to do all this other fun stuff!


Haleigh is doing really good, she is back to her normal self and is the best kid!

Making It Fun

We are trying to make the trips to Atlanta as fun as possible for Haleigh. When we went back to get her stitches removed we took her on little bit of site seeing. She had a great time!