Uncomfortable

Haleigh is getting uncomfortable and I don't blame her. If I had a bubble on the side of my face I would be uncomfortable too, Honestly I would have been complaining long before now. I am amazed by the ability and strength my daughter has.

We are at 250cc of saline now and we will try to add in another 30cc tomorrow night. I have had to give her Motrin this week because at first she said her bubble hurt. Now she says its pulling her nose. And I can see how it feels like its pulling her to one side. I can't wait to have this part of the process over with. I know I have said this over and over, but I hate the expander. I love that they were invented and are there to help children and others like Haleigh, but I hate dealing with them. I never wanted to do expanders and I am praying we never have to do another one. I am in awe of these other parents who do 3,4, or more rounds of expanders. I am not sure I would be strong enough to handle round after round of this. But I also never thought I would be strong enough to do one round, I never thought I would be able to fill her bubble at home myself, and I do that. I guess you never know what you can do until you are given no choice.

So Haleigh is uncomfortable but not in pain. Her bubble still has a way to grow, and I know she's going to be more uncomfortable as time goes on and it stays bigger after each fill. But we dont have much longer. I should have a removal date in a couple weeks. I can call them when I get to 280-300 and we will set surgery 2-3 weeks from then. If we can get the 30 in this week we will be at 280. We are looking at the week of Thanksgiving at that point.

Through the Eyes of a Child

Have you ever thought of how a child sees the world? How everything is new, exciting, and sometimes scary. Think of how big everything must look and feel to them. It has to be scary sometimes, but I think most of the time its fun and exciting. I love to look at Haleigh while she is learning new things. Her eyes get bright, she stairs, tilts her head and starts talking random words about whatever she is looking at.

Today she was looking at fish and she has seen fish before looked at them talked to them, but today she was asking about them. She was looking at them eyes wide open, what's that she said? Fish I said. Fish? Yes Haleigh Fish! Oh mama look blue fish! I see orange fish Haleigh. Oh orange fish mama! Look swimming mama!

We talked and she learned about fish for an hour! And when we had to go she was not ready, she could have stayed there all day, just looking and talking about the fish.

So simple so pure. I wish I could look at things the way she does everyday all day. She has no worries, not a care in the world. I hope she looks at the world the way she does now for a long long time!

The Understanding of Others

Mom's front porch

Believe it or not there are some people out there who do not understand why we are pushing for Haleigh to have surgery at such a young age. And there are even some who think it is wrong to make this choice for her.

I really wish others could go with Haleigh and have other moms tell their children she has something on her face. I always smile and say I know, that is the way she was born. I have got the “oh sorry”, the smile because they do not know what else to say and I have been asked 100 questions too.

I can honestly say I out of the 3 I would rather get asked questions. I mean saying you’re sorry? Really for what, I am not sorry she was born this way. God made her that way and I love her I am not sorry. And if you don’t know what to say after that then maybe you should not have said anything to begin with!


Then today I was really unsure how to handle a spot I was in. I was shopping at Winn Dixie they employ people with mental handy caps. I have no problem with that. I think it is great. Except the man who was aching our stuff didn't understand that her face was not dirty and he kept trying to wipe it. They did nothing it was up to me. I had to tell him not to touch my baby! I guess it just upset me. Sometimes, I wonder if everyone looks at her and then at me and wonder why I do not wash her face