Not my choice

As a disclaimer, I can only give my own view on my on life, and my own choices, I would never yet to make a choice for another mom.

In the past week I was messaged a question that I had actually never thought of before. This was the first time I had ever been asked this question though, I am not sure if others have wanted to ask, or what they would think, but with out using any names I want to answer the question. So what was it?

If I knew before Haleigh was born that she would have her nevus and all that we would go through would I have had an abortion?
Short answer No.
Long answer, I would not have an abortion unless it was too early for the baby to survive and I was going to die if I continued with the pregnancy. I can see no other reason I would be ok with myself. I did have all the prenatal testing for different syndromes, and I did want to know what the chances were for me having a child with a syndrome so that I would be prepared for the medical needs of that child. All of my test always came back normal and I am very thankful for that. If there was a test for the nevus I would have gotten it and I would have been prepared. Instead I didn't even have a name for haleigh's birthmark until she was 6 months old. I would have been informed and would not have waisted so much time. But I would not change having her. If God came to me and asked me if I wanted him to go back and for haleigh to be born with out the nevus, I would tell him no. Haleigh is such a light in our lives and she has changed our family and the way we think, the way we do things, the way we are things, its all changed and we are better people for it. Yes I hate that she has to go through the surgeries and I would do it for her if I could, but I don't want to change her, I never think we shouldn't have had her, I never regret being picked to be her mom. God chose me to be Haleigh's mom and I am proud that he did.

Being Haleigh's mom has tought me that no matter how much we plan and no matter how much we think we have under control, we are not! God has is all where we are suppose to be and woth who we are suppose to be with. I would not try to change what he has planned for me and my family. Not only is that a complete untrust for God's plan, but it also would not work very well for anyone. I know I am where I am because this is where God needs me to be. And its not for me to understand, its for me to follow.

So do I regret having a 5th child, NO. Children are a blessing for the Lord!