Having a larger than average family these days gets you a lot, a lot of stairs and questions that is. I have never in my life told anyone how many kids they should or should not have. But I must admit I love big families and I do not understand when people choose to have just one child.
For some reason some people think it is OK to comment on how many kids you have, and not people your close to, because even if they do not agree with you decision they most likely respect it and therefore keep their mouths shut!
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| Last Easter My 5 and their 3 cousins (their cousins are in matching dresses) |
I have gotten a lot of comments about my family size over the years, since I have gotten older I don't get the "your too young for all them to be yours" but I still get asked what I am going to do with "all them kids", If we are done, if we wanted them all, and less often I get asked if they are all healthy, because apparently since the dugger family has 19 kids and the last one was born sick, that means every family with more that 3 kids have a very sick child. ( I in no way believe that)!
So what do I say to these people so strangers? It all really depends on how my day is going, sometimes I say nothing, other times I joke and if I have had a rough day I get defensive. On those days my answers are, Yes I am a young mom, but at least I am not as old as you, of course my kids were wanted and very much loved what's your point. What are we going to do with them? Well we needed a maid so we had a girl then we needed yard work done so we had boys too. Are they all mine? Nope picked them up on the corner. How do we do it with 5? The same way you do it with 2 just 3 extra times a day!
The heath question usually comes across as "wow with that many there is no way they are all healthy" when I say yes actually they are all doing great and have a clean bill of health. Then I get "well be thankful for that" um yeah cause I was not already!? I don't understand how people can think since I had more kids that I was not thankful for the ones I already had.
In birth order Madalyn was the picture of a healthy baby we were and are thankful for that, Collin was a bit early and had asthma as a baby, we would not trade that and see thankful for him. Aden was early too and spent some nicu time, he put grew his problems too and we are thankful he did and for him. Landon was lucky we lived in a city with a major nicu that could handle him at 31 weeks, he is now almost 5 and we could not be more thankful he's healthy. Haleigh has had health issues and was early, she also has her nevus, but with all that she is a healthy baby and we are thankful all her health issues are manageable, but even if they were worse we would be thankful just to have her, she is such a light.
None of that changed just because we had other kids. And it would not change if we had a 6th child. That brings us to the "are you done" question. This one really gets people sometimes. I feel as of eight now that our family is completed. I felt complete after Aden was born too, but after Landon I knew someone was missing. I think we have very little to do with our family size. I believe God gives us the children we are suppose to have and even if we are on birth control or get our tubes tied or make our husbands get the big V, I believe we are going to end up with the family God has planned for us, even if that means raising children we didn't give birth to. And I am not sure what he has planned for our future.
I wish I could say that is what I tell others when they ask. Most of the time I say yeah! Or heck no I want 10 more just like these! And the truth is I feel our family is completed and so does Jason, we are thankful for all our children and if God was to think we (for reasons I would not understand lol) needed and could handle another child we would be thankful he had chosen is as parents again, but that would not make us any less thankful for the 5 wonderful, loving, healthy children we already have.
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