Expectations

I have friends that I have never met that have children that have exactly what Haleigh had. Born with the same type of Nevus. Some even born with them in the same location as hers. We support each other through tough choices. The good and the bad. They are there to answer questions offer advice. Or just to listen to me vent about people who don't understand. I don't know what I would do without them.

Before Haleigh's first surgery I saw pictures of their children before and after surgeries and their immediate transformation was clear. So when we took Haleigh for her first I expected that an was slightly disappointed when that didn't happen. With her second I understood it would be a slow process. 

Then we changed our course of action and decided to do the expanders. Our first one got infected. So when It was removed there was no Nevus removal and I was sad. Here we were surgery number 4 and nothing. No transformation, no big reveal. I was scared to do another expander, but we tried again and this time it worked wonderfully. 

I'm not sure what my expectations were for Haleigh this time. I was and am thrilled that the expander was such a success. I had thought all of her cheek Nevus would be gone and we would be left with another surgery for her lips and maybe nose. That's what was expected. I was nervous though that there wouldn't be enough skin to cover the cheek and I was scared that when I talked to the dr that he was going to say he didn't get very much. I was scared I was going to be disappointed again and we would have to do another round or two of the expanders. Much to my delight that was not what happened. 

Apparently I did an amazing job of expanding slowly. Her skin was even "stretchy" and of course he was able to remove the Nevus off her lips too. 

I was so nervous when I saw Haleigh. I almost didn't want to look. What if we had made the wrong choice with the expander. What if what some doctors say is true and her skin won't match and look natural. What if this was the wrong choice. 

Then they rolled her in. She scooted herself from her OR bed to her room bed and looked at me. And she looked like my Haleigh. Just as perfect as she was when she went into surgery. This was the right choice. She looks amazing. The risk of melanoma has plummeted to almost nothing. I thanked God for watching my baby through her 6 surgeries and for guiding our surgeon with his knowledge and skills. 

I couldn't have dreamed for better results. Although I'm still not sure what I expected Haleigh to look like after she was done. I surely didn't expect to be 95% Nevus free and I didn't expect her to look so much like herself. But I'm so happy she does.